Extract
from 'Out of the Blue'
You
have picked me out.
Through a distant shot of a building burning
you have noticed now
that a white cotton shirt is twirling, turning.
In
fact I am waving, waving.
Small in the clouds, but waving, waving.
Does anyone see a
soul worth saving?
And
when will you come?
Do you think you are watching, watching
a man shaking crumbs
or pegging out washing?
I
am trying and trying.
The heat behind me is searing, searing,
but the white of surrender is not yet flying.
I am not at the point of launching, leaving.
A
bird goes by.
The depth is appalling. Appalling
that others like me
should be wind-milling, wheeling, spiralling, falling.
Are
your eyes believing,
believing?
Here in the gills
I am still breathing.
But tiring, tiring.
Sirens below me are wailing, firing.
My arm is numb and my nerves are sagging.
Do you see me, my love. I am failing. Flagging.
By Simon Armitage
And the video: if you don't want to watch all the video just check it from 2:26 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqp22Vhq_DQ)
And here is my storry:
Out of the Blue
‘Dear
Darling,
How are you? I miss you so
much. I hope you are fine wherever you are.’
I can hear her voice again. She is writing. She is still writing
letters to me after 12 years, after 12 long and lifeless years. As always she
is sitting in my office in the house, in front of the huge oak table in the
leather chair and she is writing. I can remember the smell of the books and
papers there, the smell of the table and chair, how they mixed in the air, I
love that smell and I’ll never forget it. And hers, you could feel it everywhere
in the house the smell of spring, the nature and new.
‘Imagine Josh goes to the
Harvard, our handsome and clever son. He grows up. It is so terrible that you
can’t see it.’
No, that is not true! I can see him and you as well. I am with you!
I saw everything.
‘You couldn’t see his first
gold medal in swimming…’
…His first golden medal, when he got his driving licence, his first
girlfriend…
‘…when he got his driving
licence and you couldn’t meet his girlfriend, she is so lovely and smart…’
No, no, I saw it!
I saw them! I was with you! I am with you! Can’t you feel it? I try to touch
her shoulder but I can’t. My hands can’t touch her anymore. I can’t do anything
just stand behind her shoulder and watch how she is writing these lines for me
and how she is crying. I can’t hold my children in my arms, I can’t kiss them
anymore, because of them… those terrorists. We were innocent! Everyone, each
and every one of us! We didn’t do anything just our job.
That day started like any other day. Wake up, say goodbye to my
lovely, pregnant wife and my beautiful and smart 8- year- old son. I didn’t
know that this would be the last time when I would see them. When I jumped out
I couldn’t think of anything else, just them and how much I love them. When I
landed I didn’t feel anything. There was no pain. There was nothing, just me
and my thoughts. My body was light. I saw myself. My body, my broken, twisted
limbs, my wreckage, my bleeding, unrecognizable face. I could see the tear
drops from my glassy eyes.
I died.
My life ended. My future with my beautiful family didn’t exist
anymore. I felt that someone or something was pulling me.
I was at the hospital with my wife…
‘… and Mary, she is a
beautiful lady now. She had her 12th Birthday at the weekend, on 11th
of September…’
Yes, I can remember your happy face when she was born. I was so
happy and proud. You asked the nurses where I was and they said they couldn’t
reach me on my phone. Half an hour later you knew why. I’ll never forget your
face. Full of pain, fear and sadness. You were in shock. After a week you and Mary could go home. The few
months were real hell, I saw how you was suffering and crying all day, I
suffered from remorse that all these things happened because of me. I couldn’t
help you no matter how much I tried. I couldn’t do anything, just be with you
like a guardian angel. I could see my children grow up and you, how you can
fought and solved everyday problems alone. I am so proud of you. I love you…
‘I love you so much and
I’ll love and miss you until the end of my life.
Love, Lily’
Don’t worry, I’ll stay with you and wait for you until your time
will come and we will go together to the other side, but until that day just
let me be your guardian angel and the children’s.
She is pulling out the drawer
and putting the letter on to the top of the others. There are more than a
thousand letters and all for me. She doesn’t let me go, she needs me and I’ll
stay with her, with my family, with my heart. Mary is coming into the room.
-
Mummy, why are you crying? Are
you writing a letter to daddy again?
-
Yes darling, but don’t worry,
I’m good.
-
Mommy, I can feel daddy. I can
feel that he is with us and is protecting us.
-
Really?
-
Really, so don’t cry, we are
safe. I love you Mummy and Daddy I love you too.
Right then my heart beat again, I felt life through my body and I
felt like the happiest person on Earth and in Heaven. ‘I love you too honey.’
I hope you liked it, thank you :)
